Saturday, May 8, 2010

It's been so frustrating lately. I've gained so much weight. I can barely stand looking at myself in the mirror, I don't recognise myself. It's like I see myself inside and surrounded by a body that isn't mine! I have been exercising every morning. I have changed my diet, become a vegetarian (fish and seafood still as well) but I still keep putting on the pounds, 1 or 2 pounds a week!!! Is this all because I quit smoking? I just find that hard to believe. It's been 6 months without a cigarette, I don't even really miss smoking, except if I think it will make me lose weight, then I wonder why I stopped. Then I remember the chronic coughing, the alienation I felt being a smoker, the horrible smell, the yellow fingers...ETC. I could go on and on but I think I've made the point.

So, I will keep up my relationship with my mat. And force a smile in the morning and keep at it. I have to gain strength in both body and mind. I want to feel beautiful again.

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